Madhumitha's Blog

I am privileged to have met, befriended, and worked with some of the most kickass women in India. These women stand up as idols just by virtue of their strength and personality. I am not talking about women CEOs, astronauts or leaders. They are great no doubt. I am talking about your average Joe's. Women who have their shit together and do it all with grace. I often wonder when I look up to these women, if I can ever be that person - They do it all so flawlessly. It must have taken so much grit, practice and time to be where they are. So where are they? Are they happy where they are? I cannot imagine how they have a successful career, marriage, kids, extended family, personal interests and a life. Is it possible or is it just an unicorn? Fortunately or unfortunately, when you grow up in India, you develop certain notions. A certain understanding of a gender specific role. There is a seismic shift in the role of a woman in today's world. A lot more things on her pla...

What is the secret to success? Most people would say - hard work, perseverance and so on. All those things are good and necessary. But what gives that mad drive. Why do they stay up working for their dream while others rest? The answer to that burning question is deep and sad darkness. Every successful person is like a phoenix. They come out of the ashes. There is a place in their heart for a deep dark experience they had. Something like highly critical parents, being dirt poor while growing up, sudden illness... People often forget that sadness is just negative energy. Some brood over things and retain the negative energy. Others just turn around, give it a hard look and change that energy into something beautiful. During the darkest moments in my life I felt a heavy presence. It was suffocating me, just watching me experience grief with a smirk. As I slowly grow out of it, I can feel this lightness, total power and supernatural powers. I might be bad at explaining this but my ide...

Day 3 of meditation was about letting things go: Anger/sadness/frustration. No point in carrying around stuff you don't need. No point stuffing it inside your closet. Just experience it and let it go. Feel it ache in you, hurting you. Feel all the pain, collect all the bad thought. Do not let it out for 15 minutes and understand what it does to you. I tried holding in sadness for 10 minutes. It was racing my heart and tightening my tummy. I let it do what it is supposed to do: hurt me. I stopped when I felt I have collated all my pain. Then I lied down and let the tension out. I could sense my heart returning to normal. There was an ease in my existence. All this is 5 minutes of wishful deliberate thinking. I am happy. I am just packing post war veterans and returning them. No use for prisons and hold backs. Just letting all signs of the war go. That was a war where I lost time and won wisdom. Learning to let go, learning to love.

I have always loved Osho just for his thought. How can a man think like that? Different for sure, yet so right, so insightful. Of all my recent decisions, a really cool one was to take a 21 day online course on meditation by Osho. Here is the scoop from day 1 and2: Love the calming music Love it that it is short and sweet The first day exercise given to us was about awareness. It actually worked. I was aware of what I was eating and I stopped stuffing my body with food. I am aware of what I am typing and hence lesser typos. I can feel the texture of the keyboard I have never heard Osho's voice. Honestly I imagined it stronger and bolder. The man in my head sounded so. I am getting used to his odd diction and pronunciation The second day was about love and relationships I loved the distinction between love and relationships There is a human urge to cut down chances of change and hence the need to settle down Fear of unknown compelling us to settle for the known There are...

I remember so clearly, like it was yesterday The day that my professor said: “Is Average ok?” With all the thoughts that were fed, With all the inspiration I get, I said: “No way!” Little did I know, two years from then; Average is all I want, it is all I need. It made me feel cozy, It made me feel good. But I ran behind great, all so hazy. I rarely slept and barely ate for I had a dream. I did not dream of ponies and unicorns, But of winning and winning some more. Because winning gives you a high, Even to the most sober of souls. Enjoy it while it lasts as it is fleeting! I do not know if it was the wishful look from fools, Or your mind tricking you to believe you are better Better than everyone else. Not the best, mind you! I am too humble for that. Days went by and months went by, And winning became my thing. I looked for a reason to cry To feel important, To show others how I had overcome adversity. All this just to say: “...

We often hear requests from people asking us to be happy and cheerful. “Be Positive”, they say. And I am like, “Yeah! That is my blood group.” My poor jokes apart: “Is this Universe listening to you?” Wouldn’t that be a lot of noise?   I have comfort in think whatever I want as no one is judging me in my head. When someone asks me to be positive it is like I have a traffic cop in my head, diverting all the “Bad Thoughts”. This led me to thinking two things:   1.       Who defined Good and Evil? 2.       Does the Universe not go deaf with so many people emitting their thoughts to it?   Let’s take it one by one. The definition of Good and bad is a hoax. The truth is, there is no clear definition. Life is in shades of grey. Same thing is really Good at one instance and really bad at another. Do I sound confusing? Fear not! There is a simple explanation behind this. Unni (Lovely character in the book “The Illic...

Something that I saw today made my heart skip a beat and my blood boil at the same time. That moment I realized that I am indeed very lucky. Every one else who is reading this post is equally lucky. Not because I am talented writer (would love to be one in the future) but because all of you have access to internet and in some way can afford the same. What is this sight that affected me so much? Thinking of it even now gives me chills down my spine. I was in a restaurant having my evening snack (S, I do have the 4 th meal ;) ) that’s when I saw a man begging. I am very much against begging, especially if that person is physically fit. Mumbai as a city has a lot of beggars.  Most of them demand alms as if it were their birth right and my bondage to oblige. Many a time’s people are harassed at signals by beggars. I too have been a victim of that. This is one characteristic of the city that disgusts me. Coming back to our beggar of the day, he was in rags and very dirty...

One does wonder why some amoung us are great and others not so. Destiny, some might say. But God loves us all; He wouldn’t choose one over the other. There is no carrot and stick approach by God.  Thus, it leaves us with that daunting question “Why some great and others not so?” We all get up every morning with a purpose and a grand plan. Just that Bill Gates tells it to the world and most others don’t. We don’t tell not because we don’t know the purpose of our existence. We shy away in thought of what others might think. For example, I wake up every morning in hopes that one fine day I could become a writer. But I wouldn’t have voiced it out to many, because at multiple levels I doubt my purpose myself. Lack of trust in ones dreams; this is a pandemic. The reason for all this is that all that we love to do or feel is the purpose of living need not be a good and dependable source of bread and butter. Maslow’s hierarchy rightly stated that only when you have the basic nec...

Two very good friends of mine, keep filling the chat window with "Hmmm". It lead me to think, am I so boring or is it a guy thing or may be both. If one person does it then it must be a person thing. It then struck me, most men say hmmm, most of the time!  Unfortunately this was a pandemic thing.  This was like my "Eureka!" moment. I have made an observation but really still didn't understand the underlying reason behind it. All I could do was guess, but it was not good enough. So I decided to ask the source of the Hmmm theory: my friends. They were all happy to help. At the end of very though provoking conversations here are the results: When in doubt say Hmmm : There are moments in your life when you just cant say a yes or no. Life is not always in black and white. There are shades of grey. Hmmm is the pioneer in grey shaded answers. I have a personal feeling that it originated when humans were cave men! Just think about it, this just mig...

It is a menace, absolute and acute pandemic: the need to please everyone, always. There thousands of books written by many people, swearing on and professing about the art of saying NO! But it makes me wonder if anyone in the world, at least one among the sea of such authors actually practices it for oneself.  Is saying NO humanly possible? One may think that I have let my mind run loose for my own muse. I have no concern for them; as they cannot see beyond the obvious. Everyone knows that what is blue is blue. There is no need for Einstein to verify the same. I am concerned about people who can see beyond the obvious and ponder about the fine print or even print it. For them I speak, they will hear me out and empathize with my words. The art of saying NO , they say! Who are they is for you to figure out. I will give you a hint. They are notorious. They are like chameleons the blend into their surroundings. That makes them less obvious to untrained eyes. At times it ...

When you see some people you know that it was meant to be. I felt that when I saw you for the first time. I knew that we could be best friends for life and those miles of land in-between or years without a word uttered cannot undo it. I knew it then, but with time that faith took a beating. I still remember the first time I saw you, my eyes were filled with tears and your mouth was curved with a smile. Irony I thought, while I cried you smiled beamingly at me. That smile made me realize the warmth in you. It felt like gentle morning sun in midst of a retreating monsoon cyclone time in east coast of India. It tingled through my skin make me feel that we were akin. I can never forget the pride with which you introduced me to all your friends and family. You were drunk with pride and happiness, it made me so happy, but I never showed it on my face. I continued to act like I was asleep. I was naïve to understand then that I was ignoring my best friend for life. You used to b...

He looked into my eyes anxiously, with hopes of hearing a “Yes!”  To his surprise I got up, eased the creases in my gray skirt and said, “Thank you, for the offer sir! But I have other plans.” He gave an uneasy smile. We nodded, shook hands and yet again I smoothed the creases on my skirt and I left. I waited for the lift, wondering why he didn’t ask me what my “Other Plans” were. There he was hoping that I would take up the job as Marketing Head of the tools division in his company and I said no because of “Other plans”. Neither did he ever want an explanation from me, nor did he coax me with new and improved salary. May be he knew, maybe he sensed that I had a Plan B. All my life I have travelled the length and breadth of this country selling everything from pins to ships. 17 years into marketing and sales can feel like an eternity especially for a person like me. All that grounded me was my lovely 12 yr old daughter, Aneesha. It was for her that I had always post pon...

I have often wondered why the sky is Blue. I knew later that it was due to scattering of light rays. The blue color of the sky is due to Rayleigh scattering. As light moves through the atmosphere, most of the longer wavelengths pass straight through. Little of the red, orange and yellow light is affected by the air. However, much of the shorter wavelength light is absorbed by the gas molecules. The absorbed blue light is then radiated in different directions. It gets scattered all around the sky. Whichever direction you look, some of this scattered blue light reaches you. Since you see the blue light from everywhere overhead, the sky looks blue.  But why Blue? That question never died. Of all possible 7 colors from the VIBGYOR, why Blue? There is a reason for every creation of God. And yes, I still do believe in God and that the force created all that we know. Some say, everything came from nothing. Then, that nothing is God. I am not pious as I used to be but I still do ha...

I should have missed the bus, I should have got up late, I should have called a day off, I should have taken a cab. Of all that I could have done, I came in that bus, Ugly hideous blue bus, Not to mention the bad seats. The journey of 22 km, Standing in the whole way, On black stilettoes, Hands over rusted rod. My eyes stared out, Yours stared at me, Piercing through me Hoping that I will give you the attention you deserve. My hair flew in the wind, As if grew a pair of wings, Fluttering with joy, Tempting you to grab it. You stretched your hands, In hopes to touch me, You smiled and winked at me, Lips frowned when I dint notice. The attention seeker, The cutest one in that bus, With dimpled cheek, You were a heart throb. I did see you, A little while later, It was love at first sight, I gave a beaming smile. In the blue bus, Of all sad and detached people, You made my day, You made me fall in lov...

Her small yet heavy head was resting on the edge of a sofa. The pattern of the 3 seater was were boring and it faded with the background. There was a sweet smell of strawberries on it always, Meenal loved it that way. Her face wrinkled and she got wriggled like a worm on the sofa and hugged the quilt more tightly. She just couldn't sleep without a quilt. It was like a shining shield of a warrior heading for a battle. Her eyes opened mildly, enough to see the time. 10 am was just too insanely early for her especially on a Saturday morning. Just as she was to place her phone back on the table it rang. On the other end was Meenal's sister. Begging her to get up and come home. Her baby was not well and she had the carpenter coming home. The list was endless. Meenal was not listening. The only thing that she understood was that she had to get up and drive down the street about  3 Km or so. She hated this. "Why can't people manage their life by themself? " She asked ...

She ran as fast as she could, taking long and deep breath in between. It was an unusually hot morning of cool December in Chennai. The fog was visible, but not that beautiful. It was burdened with weight of dirt and particulate pollutant. It made her long for the clean air back home. It didn’t have such a beautiful beach but it indeed had a sweet charm to its own. As her feet kept pounding on the loose beach sand of marina her mind travelled to the moist brown sand of the paddy field back home. With a deeper sigh she continued to run. She loved to run, some call her crazy, others call her devoted; she didn’t want to call it anything. Deep down she knew it was more than an effort to stay fit. It was defining her inner urge. All that Meenakshi wanted to do was run away. Don’t mistake her for a second. She was not the brainless person in love who wanted to elope. She was a footloose person. She loved to travel. Name a place in South India and she would tell you an interesting t...

It rained cat and dogs; the city was drowning in the rain water. Sheetal stood by the window sill, staring at the rain battering the window in her cabin, high up on the 9 th floor of a sky rise in Mumbai. The cabin was filled with aroma of fresh and hot coffee, which she held tightly in her hands. She was holding on to something else as well- tears.   The city & her mind had a similarity that day. Both were drowned it its own sense. The former in merciless rains and the latter in, well you will know as you read along. She took a deep breath as if it were her last; secretly she did wish for the same. There are days in your life when you feel that nothing is right. And then there are others when you feel that the whole universe is conspiring against you. Today the universe was playing its naughty games with Sheetal. As her name indicates, Sheetal was Ms. C ool. If she was perturbed one can safely conclude that may be world is coming to an end. So, was the world coming...

I walked aimlessly in clothes that didn't fit its surrounding. All frantic, and working up a sweat as I walked randomly. The level of sweat is directly proportional to my state of mind. Right then I was tensed. I was about to make a mark in my history, I was to enter the kitchen. Yes, you heard me right- "The Kitchen". Mark you not for a quick snack or a water. Right then and there on May 2, 2012, I started to cook. To people who don't know me, it might sound strange and even utmost funny. But there is a small tale to it. I had taken an oath- "I will never master the art of cooking for I shall outsource the non core function." I never was inclined to learn it. The feminist in me always asked me to read the economist, travel, strike a good conversation with smart people, paragliding- in short just anything in the world other than cooking.  People say that a MBA degree is like a spiritual journey. You find out more about yourself than business at the e...

City has a character and a spirit of its one. The first time I laid my eyes upon Mumbai, the first word that came into my head was CHAOS. People call it the city of dreams, I didn't understand what they meant. All that I could see was the ubiquitous filth and people everywhere. The first person I spoke to in this city was a taxi driver on my way from the airport to Andheri. I had to listen to him abuse me for my poor Hindi and yet again I was the unwanted Madarasi.  There are so many words in this world, of which some really sting. That one stings me hard, some ask me to take it in my stride. That is an art I am yet to perfect. The first few months here were not the best. I hated the uncalled rain which poured at its will with no mercy what so ever on me.  My relationship with Mumbai is like is like a typically Indian movie story. There is this boy who loves a girl, he might not be the best but love triumph all. The city might have its flaws it sure did win my he...