Audition

I wish the hands of the clock would move faster. Time freezes when we wait for some thing we have longed for. That period is the most cruel in life. The uncertainty will kill you. Life gave me some nourishment but never a royal full course meal.I am already 26 too old to be in this career. I have to keep ensuring that I look pretty, I am in shape and my time is to come. I have to keep hoping that the wrinkles near my hair line are not caught in the camera lens. All that starving and hours of tedious work outs. All in faith that one day i could be the leading lady in the big screen.

I am different or so i believe. I have had small breaks but must make it big before i become history. Ma told that i m over ambitious and that girls from small towns don't make it big. She told girls who walk the ramp will not get married.But my heart lies elsewhere I have a dream. I have put more than my heart and soul. I didn't believe that such happy smiling women had sad tales behind their success. I was naive at 18. Actor felt  more like me than Radha (aka Medhana) the doctor. Well not everything is got easy. Then what is the fun of it. If some thing is not worth your tear, dream, sweat and blood then it is not great at all.

I am in a room full of women who seem far to young to be showing their cleavage is not very re assuring. This industry is know for its COMPROMISES. So let it be. But the older you grow the chance of a break decreases exponentially this is the golden unsaid but universally understood rule. All these girls so young so desperate. They are my rivals but i do empathize for them as well. I know it is complex. Life is a constant struggle not with the elements outside but among the forces within.

Well the battle stopped momentarily as the secretary called out my name. I was up next. I patted on my straight brown hair. It was one thing which is always so calm and settled. A sharp contrast to my present state of mind. I took a deep breath and went in. Well I've got nothing to lose so might as will give it my best shot. Walked in with my fingers crossed and with murmured prayers to Lord Ganesha. I hate heels it kills my feet but it is a necessary attribute when your only 5'5. Walked in with as much as courage I could muster.

Neither is this my first audition nor is defeat a new thing. Colonel Pickering said "It is always the first time that hurts." in My fair lady. But we all know that uncertainty kindles fear and I am facing it now. I knocked softly on the glass door then got in. It was a beautiful office. I get inside and took a seat. Opposite to me was this really handsome man. He was the associate director for the movie. Now I was unconsciously loosing my confidence. I don't want to get embarrassed in front of him.

He looked into my profile and we had a little chat. He got my number and spoke positively. He scheduled a screen test that evening. It was more of an acquaintance and less of an audition. All said and done I gave a firm handshake and left. I gave my contact numbers and profile with the secretary and left the building. This was the first time I felt comfortable in an audition and happy after it even without knowing the result. I wanted to call my mother so I took my phone. There was a text message.

"All the best for your auditions. You have good talent prove it!
                                   -Rahul Metha(Hopefully your future director)"

All that happened next is left to your pigment of imagination. We get the best things we least expect it. So dare to audition.

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