The case of Mistaken Identity

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All my life I have been an outsider. The person who is not from around here. I was born in Mayiladuthurai, a beautiful temple town. But most of my life was spent in Chennai. Sounds normal doesn't it? But my identity is commonly mistaken. Here goes my tale, where I am always wrongly understood.

When I was doing My first standard I went to Saudi Arabia. The first time flying experience is something I will never forget. In Saudi Arabian I was the unwanted and looked down upon Indian. Within the Indian community in that country I was a Madrasi. I have always been marveled at the term Madarasi. All people who belong to the 4 south Indian states are MADRASI for others above those 4 states. I was fooled to the point in which I assumed that it was a state and not a city(I was only 8 years old and my grades in geography were never great).

When I came back to India, the story didn't end. I had impeccable English flowing off my lips and not so good Tamil. Thus again I was again an outcast. Some though I was just an NRI. The so called rich kid who was so lost in India(I was not rich but I must accept that I was indeed lost).

It took some time before I could adapt to the local language and its lingo. Then came a new confusion. My name! Madhumitha is just too much of a Bengali name. That is what people said. I mean, common, do I look Bengali?

Next sassy mistake: "All vegetarians are Brahmins!" My God! Where did this come from? Only after coming to India did I know that a thing called caste existed. To justify my origins I said "I am a Pillai". Then the confusion became more complex. Suddenly I became a Malayali. Pillai is a caste name shared by a group of people in Kerala and Tamil Nadu.

It took time but I did get an identity and I felt at home. When I went back to my native for vacations I was the girl from Chennai again an outcast in the city in which I was born. Irony, isn't it? I ended up where I started and there I had lost my identity.

Then post my UG, I am in Mumbai. Here again I am donning the role of Madrasi. Every day is a challenge trying to learn and understand a language I had once despised. But I can see a vast improvement in the same. When I go back home for vacations I am sadly a Mumbaikar.

This is truly maddening. It leads me to wonder who I am. I would prefer to be the girl from Chennai. I think that my identity has been the most mistaken one in the history of time. In a way, I am proud. I to belong so many places, castes and assume many identities. I am happy to be this girl from from Mayiladuthurai who grew up in Saudi Arabia and Chennai, then went to Bombay. I am also happy to be from Kerala, West Bengal, Mumbai and Tamil Nadu(Madras) all at once. My life is a lovely paradox. I love being what I am.

Comments

  1. sankritya vedanabhatlaNovember 15, 2011 at 7:11 PM

    Lucky you......If I were you, trust me, I would have really loved it.......that "Global Citizen" tag......

    ReplyDelete
  2. SaranyanNovember 15, 2011 at 10:42 PM

    Its more about our inner identity than the exterior one. And as long as there are a few who know the real we, there's no identify crisis :)

    Liked the way you ended it..

    ReplyDelete

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