The sad demise of a Shopaholic

As my feet touched the earth below, getting off the Pajero all I though off in that moment was "SHOPPING". It was like a sport. Every other day, surrounded by oceans of new clothes, shoes, toys, books and what not. Pure bliss to feel soft silk scarf, inhale the sweet smell of perfume in The Body Shop and to turn the pages of a new book. The possibilities were endless. I was in love. Love with the idea of shopping. The moment I was in a mall, all my worries disappeared. I remember drooling over a piece of jewelry or longing for that beautiful black stilettos.

But all that was in the past. Now shopping seems more of a mundane task to be done. It seems as bothersome as getting up in a Sunday morning during exam. From being a compulsive shopper to a person who thinks that is a necessity, it has been a great transition. When I turn around and look at the past, I wonder, want was it that made me happy then that is lost now.

I remember those days in Sea view compound in Dammam, after shopping for hours together the bliss one gets. Words won't suffice to say how lovely one feels to try out new clothes or to hug a new teddy bear. Some where down the line, I out grew all this but how? That is something that i have been pondering since Oct 2011.

I hit upon the all so obvious answer yesterday. The most evident things are the most well hidden; the mind thinks that answers to complex question must essentially be complex. The greatest truth is always simple. I sank into my heart, did some investigation. I followed it day and night inspected how if felt when it saw hoarding of new year sales. It no longer wanted to shop till it dropped. Some thing happened. Something that I never imagined. When I saw add for sale in shoppers stop, I was thinking about their marketing strategy and pricing. That was my moment of enlightenment under my table lamp (Sadly I can't find a Bodhi tree in Mumbai). I was indifferent now. I didn't feel that knee jerking reaction that compulsive feeling to head out and shop. Rather I began to search for the less obvious: sale? Why so? The answers that popped out were astounding it involved little of everything from accounts to operations to marketing (sorry, nothing in HR, odd though I must say). Even post shopping I missed that high I used to feel (May be its time to shift to boozing from shopping ;) ). Post shopping I was wondering why there were many women cleaning staff (here HR came to play, at last!.. Huff). While i was gobbling down morsels of the veg pulav I had got my enlightenment two.

Shopping had lost its shine. It could no longer be the problem to all my problems in life. My mother must be proud to know her daughter has given up this lust for material things. Mother knows best, her love was to get absorbed in the smell in incense sticks in a temple. Well I haven't reached that point yet, but I have lost that love for shopping. This must be a loss to lifestyle and long list of other shops.

I realized that curling up with a good book or chatting with nice friends or cooking up a spicy conversation with my mother gave more happiness than even a new Gucci purse can ever give (post seeing the price I decided the same :P ).

All this is great but why did it happen. Well for starters, for the first time in my life I am looking and the bill and paying from my purse (Dad's money but I do have a monthly budget). This brings in a sense of responsibility. I began to think many times before i take something to the billing counter. At last a sense of responsibility. May be I have grown up (God lord! Thank you). Even my sister was shocked to see my new found hatred for shopping. I guess a funeral is necessary to ensure that the shopaholic in me may R.I.P. for rest of eternity.