My dear independent Indian woman

I am privileged to have met, befriended, and worked with some of the most kickass women in India. These women stand up as idols just by virtue of their strength and personality. I am not talking about women CEOs, astronauts or leaders. They are great no doubt. I am talking about your average Joe's. Women who have their shit together and do it all with grace.

I often wonder when I look up to these women, if I can ever be that person - They do it all so flawlessly. It must have taken so much grit, practice and time to be where they are.

So where are they? Are they happy where they are? I cannot imagine how they have a successful career, marriage, kids, extended family, personal interests and a life. Is it possible or is it just an unicorn?

Fortunately or unfortunately, when you grow up in India, you develop certain notions. A certain understanding of a gender specific role. There is a seismic shift in the role of a woman in today's world. A lot more things on her plate and a lot less sharing with her male counterpart. 

In essence all I see in overworked women who are so grounded in India values but have eyes on global ambition. This is not wrong, if that is what makes you happy. Then again, here is my question - is the new definition of a modern Indian woman making her happier?

I generally feel stuck between what I want to do and what is expected of me. No prizes for guessing which way I tilt. I see the same happening with all my lovely women.

There is an age to study, an age to work, an age to marry and an age to give birth. Miss any one deadline, your life will get analysed by every psycho on this planet. Is that fair? Is there only one way to live? Should the formula just not be "Do what you want, as long as you are true." It would be a lot easier.

I see all these successful women who carry a mountain of serious issues. Most of them with no time or space to realise and resolve it. 

I know I might be generalising here. I know that someone out there is happy with the way things are, cheers to you. But in my view, solution to a wall in not another one with a bigger diameter.

All that I want to say in my round-about rant is, do not typecast yourself. You can be really afraid and brave at the same time. You can be independent and sharing love/space. Don't waste your precious time on definitions and perspectives. Do not live up to the independent modern woman label. As it is just another stereotype. You are beyond that. You deserve more than that. Just be you! The perfect, true YOU!