Smile when it hurts the most!
I am having my university exams now.I am a II year student in B.Tech.Information Technology.Now I am having my third semester examinations.Well I am not extremely brilliant or a prodigy but I have set my own standards.I got 86.7% in my last semester and 96.25% in my plus two.It is not by luck of chance that I got both but with hard work.But sadly that sincere part of me has not been rewarded lately.By reward I don't mean recognition or a praise but here I talk of satisfying the nagging old levels and position that I have set for myself.
I have written only 4 of my 6 exams.Generally the exams give me a happy feeling of achievement.I feel that I have done justice to to position I am in and the work I have done.But sadly this time all my four papers were not up to my expectations.I am a person who does not sit thinking of my present failure for long.I do analyze it and find fault in me but after a point I let it go and think of the next task ahead of me.Better that way then crying over split milk.But 4 bad papers in a row was little more than I could handle.I promised myself not to cry.My past taught me that tears only clean you eyes that to when under moderation only.So I was fighting back my tears and kept smiling.I knew that my silence would cause tears.Hence I tried to be the all cheerful me again.I didn't want my friend Priya to get too much concerned about me.So I changed the topic to more general things.
I came home and here to I tried to conceal my disappointment.I don't like to spread negative energy because it is like a tide.It will feel distressing at first but actually it cums back to us with greater force.I tried to be silent and hold back my thoughts but no more was that possible.Tears eventually found it's way out.The bottled up fear and anxiety turned into a massive head ache.I took a pain relief and tried to sleep.But even that sleep was disturbed.
My mother woke me up because my music sir had come.I had forgotten that he was to come.I got up to get ready for the class with an unwilling heart.Actually an unwilling head.My God I can still feel the way it pounded on me.I freshened myself and went and sat for my class.My music sir is a very nice and jovial person.He asked if I was alright.I just smiled.Still fighting back my tears.Now with new worries that I cannot sing.Singing is one of those things that needs a clear mind more that a throat it need all the attention.Singing is like a truant child which demands all of his mother's attention.My pitch was not right the layam was missing.He suddenly stopped playing.He said"What happen?You are never like this.At times your sister will get distracted because of school pressure never you.What is disturbing you?What ever it is don't think of it now.Music demands full attention.It is the best meditation in life.It transports you to another world provided you pay your attention as a fare.'He was right.I decided to sing as perfectly as I could.Well the exams might have been bad but that is over I cant change it.I did not want to ruin the present as well so I smiled for his comment and began to sing.At the end of my 1.30 hr class my head ache was gone.The smile and music in me got me through a bad day!
I have written only 4 of my 6 exams.Generally the exams give me a happy feeling of achievement.I feel that I have done justice to to position I am in and the work I have done.But sadly this time all my four papers were not up to my expectations.I am a person who does not sit thinking of my present failure for long.I do analyze it and find fault in me but after a point I let it go and think of the next task ahead of me.Better that way then crying over split milk.But 4 bad papers in a row was little more than I could handle.I promised myself not to cry.My past taught me that tears only clean you eyes that to when under moderation only.So I was fighting back my tears and kept smiling.I knew that my silence would cause tears.Hence I tried to be the all cheerful me again.I didn't want my friend Priya to get too much concerned about me.So I changed the topic to more general things.
I came home and here to I tried to conceal my disappointment.I don't like to spread negative energy because it is like a tide.It will feel distressing at first but actually it cums back to us with greater force.I tried to be silent and hold back my thoughts but no more was that possible.Tears eventually found it's way out.The bottled up fear and anxiety turned into a massive head ache.I took a pain relief and tried to sleep.But even that sleep was disturbed.
My mother woke me up because my music sir had come.I had forgotten that he was to come.I got up to get ready for the class with an unwilling heart.Actually an unwilling head.My God I can still feel the way it pounded on me.I freshened myself and went and sat for my class.My music sir is a very nice and jovial person.He asked if I was alright.I just smiled.Still fighting back my tears.Now with new worries that I cannot sing.Singing is one of those things that needs a clear mind more that a throat it need all the attention.Singing is like a truant child which demands all of his mother's attention.My pitch was not right the layam was missing.He suddenly stopped playing.He said"What happen?You are never like this.At times your sister will get distracted because of school pressure never you.What is disturbing you?What ever it is don't think of it now.Music demands full attention.It is the best meditation in life.It transports you to another world provided you pay your attention as a fare.'He was right.I decided to sing as perfectly as I could.Well the exams might have been bad but that is over I cant change it.I did not want to ruin the present as well so I smiled for his comment and began to sing.At the end of my 1.30 hr class my head ache was gone.The smile and music in me got me through a bad day!
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